Friday, March 12, 2010

Obsession


The second wave of anxiety happens once I have all my stuff and I am safely buckled into the van headed back to the studio. At this point I am reviewing my receipts and fretting over all the money I just spent. Did I really need that $75 bunch of Japanese sweetpeas?! I mentally beat myself up over how I am never going to make a true living at being a floral designer. I mean, this stuff costs $$$ and I am like a kid in a candy store when buying flowers.  If I spot a certain bunch of something beautiful, I have to have it.  I'm like a crazed junkie. Anyway, within minutes I forget all of this because the flowers are packed in boxes and out of site. It's only when I am back in the quiet of the studio, unwrapping my precious cargo, taking in the scents and sights again, gently placing in water and watching them plump up...it's then when I whisper to myself, "oh yes...you beauties this is why I had to have you".

And thank you for sharing your own anxiety stories. It's supremely comforting to know I am not alone. Keep 'em coming! 

6 comments:

chelsea said...

if only i had read this 5 years ago! i can't even express how much i identify with this. my flower shop experience was SO bittersweet. filled to the brim with moments like you describe and i felt so alone. if you ever need to vent i am here because i completely understand!!

Susan {Florali} said...

Sweet peas from Japan! I can't quite bring myself to do it. I hope you'll post pictures of what you do with them...I'm sure they are stunning!

flwrjane said...

Ooh, we had the Japanese sweet peas for Valentine's. Long legged, sweet smelling, long lasting. Those sweet peas?

I had my own store for 8 years and I feel your suffering. Also your pleasure.

It's true, for me, that I love working for someone else, ordering what I want and not having the buck stop here,with me.

Yin and Yang, sweet and bitter, owning your own business is a painful pleasure. xxoo jane

Jessebel [ frequently full, seldom satisfied ] said...

While I'm not a floral designer by any means (some day I hope), I understand your sentiment. It's something that I have discussed with my husband in the hopes of doing this for a living.

Flowers are not a guarantee so when you see something that is usually not in season or is especially gorgeous, it's so hard to pass it up since you never know when you're going to get another a chance to work with it.

Fiore fresco said...

My problem exactly! And then, once I start using the super special beauties, I'm hesitant to commit them to anything in particular. I have an inner dialogue that goes "if I put them in these centerpieces, they might not be highlighted enough for the special gems they are...so I'll put them in the bridemaid bouquets. Except, then they are spread too think, and they're so pretty, they would be great stand alone flowers for boutonnierres...but boys will never appreciate them. And if I use them in the bridal bouquet, they'll make it extra special and will get photographed more. But I'll only use seven, because I just have to keep three for my kitchen window..."

rubyandjoy said...

lol SOoooo true, can relate to all of this! Especially fiore fresco, I always have a gardenia or a tea rose or SOMEthing leftover, it's only fair. but the freakout of not having enough happens every. single. time. it's only when they're all packed and couriered off and I still have 7 bunches of something that I realise I've done it. Again. My friends appreciate it though ;) And I'm such a sucker for the extra special bloom...always getting one for myself. They're just so darn PRETTY!!!!
xx